Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Evil Dogs and Smothering Boxes!

OMG, I have FINALLY escaped.  Because you're wondering (you know you are) where the heck I've been, I can only say that right after the Thanksgiving holiday, which we celebrated at the in-laws' house, I was taken prisoner by several nefarious entities.  These entities-- monsters, if you will-- masqueraded as boxes, packing tape, grumbling Great Danes, and black Magic Markers.  They forced me into a wardrobe-sized U-Haul box, taped it shut (there might have even been duct tape involved), and then parked outside of it and growled at me every time I moved.  To make sure I would behave, they tried to drive me insane by scribbling on the outside of the box with Magic Markers, over and over and over again.

I swear it's all true.

It was only recently that the plastic shipping tape weakened and I was able to shrink myself down to the size of a Chihuahua and slip quietly out a hole in the back left corner.  Months had passed.  Seriously.  Not only that, but Christmas had come and gone, the tree had been put up and taken down, and-- you'll love this-- we moved into a brand new house!  I mean, did anyone ASK me?  I couldn't find ANYTHING.  The box monsters had procreated (ew, don't ask) and their offspring were everywhere-- upstairs, downstairs, in the garage.  And they left the old place a mess, demanding that I go and clean it (a task still not finished).  So while I have finally escaped, the unfairness of it all remains.

Oh woe.

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