So after work I grab up Goblin and Ghost, load them in the Montero (those around town know it as the "Zombie Emergency Response Vehicle"), and trundle off to the vet for shots and to let the unlucky vet poke into Ghost's butt a couple of times. The lock on the back door of the Montero broke a few years back; Dad fixed it, but it took something like three weeks before the parts got in, then more time to get him to actually do the repair, yadda yadda yadda. Ultimately it got fixed... only to break again about six months later. This time, in the spirit of Good Ol' American Redneckness, we fashioned a rope around the inside handle that we can use to pull and hold the inside handle open while we inch around to the back and open it from the outside. If you let go, you get to start all over again.
In the vet's parking lot, in complete and utter defiance of my command to "Wait!" which Goblin absolutely knows, Goblin catapults himself out of the back of the truck, with Ghost right on his heels. He promptly gets his back legs tangled up in the rope I didn't have the chance to push out of the way, and down he goes. Like an embarrassed human, he's right back up, favoring his right back leg and shooting me a look that seems to say, "Act like you didn't see me do that!" I inspect him on the front walk, but he seems fine, if a little dusty on the hind end, and by the time we get inside he's not even limping anymore.
Except now he's bleeding. Not a lot, mind you-- just enough to be mysterious. In the lobby I discover he must've landed on his muzzle because he's skinned the front of it pretty good. Ouch. By the time we get into Room One, I realize he's put a thin, two-inch slit into the side of his tail. Double Ouch. It takes all the way until I make him sit in the garage at home to take off his leash that I discover the back of that right leg joint is also skinned. Owwwwww x3. In the true spirit of Momness, I would say "This is what happens when you don't listen to me!" but he just wouldn't get it.
Tomorrow morning I drop our little Ghoulie Bug off for surgery. The vet will remove her right eye, which is constantly gooey and drippy and annoying to her because the eyelashes curl down and poke inward (entropian eye). Dr. Bone-- yes, that's really his name-- says she will look like she's winking after the eyelid is sewn shut. Since that's the side that has the black around the eye, this will make her look like a Winking Pirate Dog. This will go right along with her normal conversation of "Arghghghghgh!" Our pictures of her will take on an entirely new theme.
154 days to go before The Husband comes home.
Did someone say ::yikes::???